


Scrutinize

by sardonyx164



Series: Operation Heartfelt (Humans Encourage Aliens' Reflection Totally Forming Excellent Lessons Together) [4]
Category: Codename: Kids Next Door
Genre: Aliens, Autistic Character (s), Fluff, Gen, Original Male Character(s) - Freeform, Platonic Kissing, Screenplay/Script Format, playful bickering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:27:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25359922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sardonyx164/pseuds/sardonyx164
Summary: Nigel and Chad get asked a lot of questions about human interaction.
Relationships: Nigel Uno & Chad Dickson, Nigel Uno & Chad Dickson & Original Character(s)
Series: Operation Heartfelt (Humans Encourage Aliens' Reflection Totally Forming Excellent Lessons Together) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1831942
Kudos: 4
Collections: Operation Friend





	Scrutinize

**Author's Note:**

> -Your Alternate Universe idea this time is:  
> https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WesternAnimation/TheRoadToElDorado

_[Scene: the Galactic Kids Next Door observation deck. Nigel and Chad are both sitting in lounge chairs and observing the stars...well, they would be, anyway, if they weren’t currently bickering with each other. This is, what, the quindecillionth time? Anyway, Numbuh Euler opens the door and looks confused/curious as to why the two humans are bickering. He walks up to them and clears his throat]_

**Nigel/Chad:** [turning to face Euler] What?!

 **Euler:** [unfazed] Do you humans _always_ argue with each other like this?

 **Nigel/Chad:** No. / Yes.

_[They look at each other awkwardly]_

**Nigel/Chad:** Yes. / No.

_[They look at each other again]_

**Nigel:** Um, you see, it’s...complicated.

 **Chad:** Very complicated, indeed!

 **Euler:** [intrigued] Really now? How so?

 **Nigel/** **Chad:** Well...

 **Chad:** Some humans manage to form bonds with each other when they get into fights, see?

 **Nigel** : Fights can be used to burn off energy or let off some steam.

 **Euler:** [nodding] I see, I see. So are you two trying to burn off your energy at this current point in time, or...?

 **Chad:** [making the ‘maybe’ gesture] Eh, it’s that, and, uh...[pointing his thumb at Nigel]...this kid pushed one of my buttons by saying that his kisses were so much better than mine.

 **Nigel:** [blushing] What?! I said no such thing, sir! I very clearly said--

 **Euler:** [confused] Wait, buttons...?

 **Chad:** Oh, sorry, Numbuh Euler. We humans don’t have buttons; that’s just an expression. It pretty much means that Nigel said something to make me react in a certain way. [checking his nails] For example, if I want to push Nigel’s buttons, I just have to say that my kisses are better than his.

 **Nigel:** [turning redder] Excuse me?! That is quite false, sir! My kisses are _far_ superior!

 **Chad:** [chuckling smugly] Okay, then. Prove it to me.

 **Nigel:** [twiddling his fingers] I...can’t. Not right now, anyway.

 **Euler:** [worried] Hmm? Numbuh 274, why did Numbuh One suddenly become nervous?

 **Chad:** Oh, um, well...Nigel here is kind of shy when it comes to acts of intimacy. He can only kiss me under _very_ specific circumstances.

 **Euler:** [curiously] Oh? What kind of circumstances? And what is with this “intimacy” thing...?

 **Chad:** [annoyed] Zero, you are one nosy kid! That’s none of your business!

 **Nigel:** [softly] No, no. It’s quite alright, Chad.

 **Chad:** Are...are you sure?

 **Nigel:** Yes. Let me handle this. [clearing his throat] You see, Numbuh Euler...intimacy is defined as closeness, familiarity, and loyalty. I can only act intimately around Chad if my emotions are strong enough. For example, if I see that Chad is feeling downtrodden, I give him a kiss.

 **Euler:** [looking out at the stars contemplatively] Hmm, so humans bond with each other through fights, and then they kiss each other...is that correct?

 **Chad:** Well, it’s true for _us_ , at least.

 **Euler:**...I see. Thank you for the important information. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go get some food. The cafeteria is serving some wonderful ice cream today. Please drop by the cafeteria at your earliest convenience.

_[Euler leaves the room and closes the door behind him. Chad goes over to the door and locks it]_

**Chad** : [angrily] Thank Zero that kid is gone! He’s just so... _nosy_!

 **Nigel:** [shrugs] You’re...sort of correct. I mean, sure, it was kind of insensitive of him to talk about our relationship, but he’s an alien child. He’s just curious about human relationships, that’s all; there’s no malice in his questions.

 **Chad:** [returning to his seat] Yeah, I guess so...

 **Nigel:** And besides, it’s our _job_ to teach these guys about humans. [rolling his eyes] Idiotic teenager.

 **Chad** : Eh, you’re right...baldy.

_[Nigel moves his chair closer to Chad, puts his arm around the teenager’s waist, and cuddles up to him. Chad smiles as he puts his arm around Nigel’s shoulder. A peaceful silence fills the room as the two look out at the stars]_

**Chad:** Man, space is beautiful, isn’t it?

 **Nigel:** [affectionately] Oh, wait, wait. I know what you’re going to say, Chad. You’re going to say “You know what else is beautiful? Me.”.

 **Chad** : What?! Am I that predictable?!

 **Nigel** : Yes.

 **Chad:** [crossing his arms] Well, uh, I wasn’t going to call _myself_ beautiful. I was going to say that _you_ are beautiful.

 **Nigel:** [blushing] Stop lying.

 **Chad:** I’m serious!

 **Nigel:** [chuckling] Yes, well-- [pointing at the stars]-- sweet merciful Zero, it’s the Milky Way!

 **Chad:** [raising an eyebrow]...You’re trying to distract me so you can kiss me, aren’t you?

 **Nigel:** [checking his nails] Maybe.

_[Chad blankly stares at Nigel for a bit before snatching Nigel’s visor and holding it abouve his head. Nigel tries to reach for his visor, but he isn’t able to do so]_

**Chad:** Come get it, Nigie! Come get your visor!

_[Nigel suddenly kisses Chad's nose and takes his visor back while Chad is distracted. Nigel winks at Chad, who is stammering and turning redder by the second]_

**Nigel:** I guess you _are_ predictable, Chad. [he gently takes Chad’s hand and kisses it] But I don’t mind that at all.

_[Chad chuckles lovingly as he slaps himself on the head]_

**Chad:** Yeah...I don’t mind it, either.

End

**Author's Note:**

> Details about Numbuh Euler:  
> \-->Appearance wise, he is based on the Treecko family and the Chikorita family.  
> \-->Personality wise, he is based on Miles Edgeworth (Ace Attorney) and Adrian Andrews (also from Ace Attorney).


End file.
